Posted by: whimsigal | May 10, 2008

Mother’s Day

Ok, so this may be controversial and I may get flamed for it but don’t you think this holiday is kind of silly? Why do we only celebrate mothers on one day of the year? Why do we do that for fathers, too? This thought has been marinating for a while now and I just think the whole thing is kind of crazy. A Hallmark Holiday that has taken on such importance that if a mother is not recognized she feels ignored by her children. I know one mother in particular who, if her children don’t wish her a Happy Anniversary ON her anniversary then she is incredibly hurt and angry. Do we need these days to feel the love from our families? Why do we get so hung up on the recognition of these kinds of holidays? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy getting presents just as much as the next person and certainly don’t begrudge anyone who wants to celebrate the holiday. What I’m saying is, for my husband and children, it’s not necessary to feel like you have to go crazy just because a calendar says a certain day is Mother’s Day. I know you love and appreciate me. I can see it and feel it every single day that we’re fortunate enough to spend together. If you don’t get me a card, I won’t think that you don’t love me or that you don’t care enough about me to recognize me.

I hope my children grow up without feeling encumbered by these kinds of things. It would be more special frankly if they wanted to recognize me on a day that isn’t dictated or mandated by the retail world. I’m not trying to diss mom’s worldwide or anything I’m just saying that every day should be a celebration of our families and relationships and our love for one another. Know what I mean?

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Responses

  1. I’m right there with you!

    We actually don’t celebrate the holidays like most. We give gifts spontaneously all year, based on joy and opportunity. Hmmm. Much like unschooling, eh?

    We can hardly contain ourselves at Christmas, trying to hold back gifts from relatives and friends. Thus, I got my camera Dec 7th! Ha. Also most of my local friends got gifts that same week.

    We do celebrate Lil’Bugs birthday traditionally, because she wants it that way, feels left out seeing her friends get parties and such (learned the hard way this year). BUT most of the others are just kind of silly if they end up creating hard feelings. I mean, I’m a forgetful person and even though I remember my favorite aunt’s August birthday doesn’t mean I any less likely to get it in the mail in say, January. LOL I love her the same, the intent is there. She loves me and my forgetfulness. That’s family. 🙂

    Perhaps, if mothers don’t feel loved they are more likely to need the holiday acknowledgment? Hmmmm….

  2. The history of what mother’s day was started as and what it has become is interesting.

    Mother’s day in the US was started as Mother’s work day, a day for moms to help improve their community. Here is a basic synopsis: http://mothers-day.123holiday.net/

    Fascinating isn’t it?

  3. KMD,

    Thank you so much for sharing that link. It is indeed fascinating how a once nobly intended holiday was taken over by commercial interests. However it began, it is a far cry from that today and that is the tradition that I feel should be bucked. Just goes to show that change isn’t always a good thing and can in fact destroy the legacy that someone intended to leave behind.

    Thanks again for the link, I found it really interesting.

    Evie

  4. I know! I think these kind of things are silly .he kids do like to give me breakfast in bed, and make me a card and say Happy Mom’s day, and tell me about how they love me. I’ll take it! But it is silly anyway, I hear ya.-K

  5. My husband has always shared your view on these “greeting card” holidays. He includes Valentine’s Day in there too. I don’t have high expectations about the holidays and I include my birthday, too. I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on my kids.

  6. Oh I would totally include Valentines Day. My husband doesn’t ascribe to my thinking and goes crazy on every holiday. lol

    You seem kind of sad or something when you say you don’t have high expectations. Are you sad?

  7. Well said Evie! I know exactly where you are coming from on this.

    I have decided to use this “holiday” as a little reminder for myself to step back and take a look at where I am on this mothering journey. I can finally say that I am where I want to be. Feels pretty good that.

    I don’t have expectations of Chris and the kids to do anything special for me. I get no physical gifts really. And it suits me just fine. The hugs and kisses are just enough for me.

  8. Thanks for your concern. I guess I meant I don’t want to carry on ahead of time about it being Mother’s Day or my birthday then my kids feel bad. My husband has a lot of great qualities but holidays isn’t one of them. Even though he’s been a dad 15 years, he’s kinda clueless about things such as taking the kids out to buy gifts. Some of that is due to his childhood so I try to understand.

  9. Well, Joan I think that’s mighty fine of you. My dad never wanted to get my mother anything from himself for mother’s day. “You’re not MY mother!” he would say. But THIS year, he tried to buy my mom a piano. Didn’t have enough $$ and bought her roses instead. All I’m saying is, I think it’s beautiful that you recognize what his gifts and strengths are and one day, he may surprise you and come home with a piano. LOL

    We all bring different things to the table in marriage, that is fo’ sho’.

  10. Very true. 🙂 We do “celebrate” Mother’s Day around here. My kids make cards, my husband makes breakfast. Then I get to do whatever I want. It’s nice.

    However, we don’t limit this to once a year. I get free days here and there. And yes, I feel my family’s gratefulness during the year just as much as on Mother’s Day.

    Lovely post.

  11. Hey Freckles! I’m glad I’m not alone in my thinking and doubly glad to hear that you are indeed celebrated year round.

    🙂

    evie


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