Posted by: whimsigal | March 22, 2008

One more time, then I’m done

So, I really don’t want to devote too much time to it but it’s on my mind and this is where I go to express what’s on my mind. You may or may not know that recently my mother-in-law was upset about something she read on my blog. And now, because she’s upset with me, she is not attending Easter Lunch or Ryan’s 6th birthday party. I have to tell you that, as much as I would like to act like it doesn’t affect me, it bothers me greatly. Not because she’s mad at me, frankly I could care less about that. What bothers me is that she has decided to punish her grandson, who she hardly ever sees as it is, by not celebrating his birthday with him. He knows she’s not coming and he knows why she’s not coming. He doesn’t understand it, but I was totally honest with him about it. And I’m not sorry I did that. It was an enlightening conversation because the thing that upset me in the first place, the way my MIL’s husband speaks to my kids, has been bothering them for a while without me knowing it. It was quite the conversation we had and it totally reinforced my beliefs that I posted in the first place.

I wish my MIL had not chosen this course of action because it’s a difficult one to come back from. I’m very angry that she’s treating Ryan this way. But if this is how she wants things to be then that’s how they’ll be. I don’t feel like I have anything to apologize for. I asked my family to stop reading my blog because this is where I write about all kinds of things. Some mundane, some personal. Perhaps I shouldn’t have shared it at all but I felt we all had relationships that were strong enough to withstand some hard words. I see now that I was very, very wrong about that. I refuse to compromise what I’ve done here though. THe nature of this blog will not change, I will not change. I write about life, sometimes it’s beautiful, sometimes it’s not but all of it goes here.

Like I said, I don’t want to devote too much space to this but it is something that has been on my mind and I needed to get that off my chest. I’m sure that as time goes by and we haven’t spoken, the kids will get used to it, as kids are wont to do. It’s just very sad that it’s come to that.

Thanks to all who have offered suggestions to me both here and in private. Your counsel has been appreciated more than you know!

Tomorrow’s post will be cheerier, I promise!

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Responses

  1. Sometimes the hard thing to do is also the right thing. A lesson that is sometimes painful, but keep strong, friend.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear this. Especially, given that Easter is a time for celebration. And, your poor son. It’s a shame. I hope your MIL can somehow redeem herself for his sake. Good luck. Makes me feel really thankful to have great in-laws!

  3. Thanks so much. I just got word this morning that now my sister-in-law isn’t coming either.

    Thanks for your support.

    🙂

  4. That’s a bugger.

    Have a good holiday anyway! May the Easter bunny bring you many Cadbury’s! 🙂

  5. Hey, Momo Fali, I hope so,too.

    🙂

  6. I’m so sorry. It’s not right to take it out on your son. I blogged about a family situation a few weeks ago that was upsetting. It was on my side of the family. For good or bad, we have limited contact with my husband’s family. I hope your precious son has a great birthday regardless.
    Take care,

    joan

  7. Blech.
    I’m sorry, sweetie.
    Pretty amazing that family can’t take us when they actually come to KNOW us.
    [grin]
    Screw ’em.

    Loves and more loves to you and yer three boys.
    xxoo

  8. Aw gee, I hope things get smoothed over somehow, sometime. I find family strife pretty stressful. Which can sometimes turn one into a doormat.

    And being a doormat ain’t no fun.

  9. I am sorry you have to be going through this and that she is taking it out on Ryan like she is! I hope it will all get better soon.


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